I tend to be so out of focus on normal things it seems. I go to work and forget to do my hair. I sometimes forget to press my clothes…I will drink too much water at night and will have to use the bathroom multiple times at night. I tend to forget my bills when I really try not to. There is just so much more about me that is funny, but I sometimes let those things define me. I struggle with being normal. Or maybe being whole…I am in pieces because I tend to fail at normal life. I define myself by what people say or make fun of me for. I base my worth on forgetting to do my hair, or my clothes I didn’t press, maybe my clothes are too big. All these things can make me feel really insecure because I try so hard to get it right. I get comments like, “Hopeless, or you need counseling Micah. You are so strange. Micah doesn’t know what he is saying. Micah doesn’t think” I laugh it off but then I wonder if I’ll ever get it right.
Let’s get a fresh story on the table shall we? One day at work I was moved to a better office and I was given the option to get a better desk. But I didn’t want one. Nope. I didn’t want one. My little brown ugly desk was good enough for me. Until it was said my office did not reflect a professional place. Oh my! Now my mind was turning! Why didn’t I think of that? Why can’t I get it right? So I went to choose a better desk, but I wasn’t happy at all. I was struggling. “God I am not deserving of a good desk. I’m just like that old useless one.” I felt very stiff… This should have been a good thing! New spacious office, new desk! Better temperature! Better lighting! Everything was better, but I didn’t want it.
As I was deciding what to do an angel appeared, “You see yourself as that old wooden desk,” He asked.
Oh no. Not in the mood. “I don’t deserve a good office because I can’t seem to be good at normal things. I feel like I am always observed as weird or hopeless. I am getting made fun of for things…Like I should clean my room. I am messy! I want to get good at being normal. Now I’m getting a desk because I don’t live up to what is expected of me.”
The angel sitting on the desk I wanted hopped down; adjusted his funny feathered hat then examined the desk, “I like this one!” He was about my height in a white splatterd golden robe! It was like someone just threw gold sparkles on him in random places. He had the funniest hat. It looked like a feathered top hat–like a child who said, “I want this one,” when given the option to choose. He checked the desk, “Yeah I like this!”
I said nothing.
The angel placed his hands on his hips, “You know, life is so funny with humans. You spend so much time basing your worth on things that really do not matter. Yes humans like small things…fight for small things.”
Again I said nothing. Didn’t feel like talking.
“You know what,” The angel perked.
“What?” I said.
“You are so valuable that the Son of God became a man just so he could have you to himself for all eternity. You are the most precious in all of the realms of heaven. He gave up everything for you! He didn’t ask you to make your human life perfect. He just wants you! So pick a desk as a representation of who you are in God. You truly lack nothing. Go and enjoy your new office because you get something better as His Son, as His bride. The things people say to you are small things. So small. Don’t hold yourself to it. You are precious to God! Last time I checked, you have a crown! You are crowned because of Him. His love is deep for you! You are the perfect choice to rule in his kingdom. So pick a desk…”
I looked at the angel, “Thanks for encouraging me.”
The angel puckered up, “You are welcome! You are great! I like you a lot! You are an encouragement even to us, because we love your friendship. Even if you are a little pouty, you always find a way in the Spirit.” He turned and walked through the wall waving goodbye.
Confidence! I am a royal crown! I am delightful! Be filled with courage friends you are worth more than you know. You are not a small thing. You are not a failure! Jesus gave up everything for you because he wanted you! You are the perfect choice for his bride!
“The nations will see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory;
And you will be called by a new name
Which the mouth of the Lord will designate.
You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord,
And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
It will no longer be said to you, “Forsaken,”
Nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”;
But you will be called, “My delight is in her,”
And your land, “Married”;
For the Lord delights in you,
And to Him your land will be married (Isaiah 62:2-4)